虽然低俗但通俗易懂的营销概念

[来源：] 2009-06-06 14:35:00　编辑：whenet 点击：次

某天晚上，你在酒吧遇到一个靓女：如果你走过去直接对她说：“我在床上很厉害的哦！”这叫【直销】；如果你的朋友走过去，指着你对她说：“他在床上很厉害的哦！”这叫【广告】；如果你要了她的电话，隔天打电话和她说：“跟你提一下，我在床

某天晚上，你在酒吧遇到一个靓女：

如果你走过去直接对她说：“我在床上很厉害的哦！”这叫【直销】；

如果你的朋友走过去，指着你对她说：“他在床上很厉害的哦！”这叫【广告】；

如果你要了她的电话，隔天打电话和她说：“跟你提一下，我在床上很厉害的哦”这叫【电话营销】；

如果你仅仅是文质彬彬的走过去、礼貌地做自我介绍，再帮她倒饮料，畅谈心事，并且送她离开再帮她打开车门，等她上车后再和她说：“跟你提一下，我在床上很厉害的哦！”这叫【公关】；

如果你给服务生一些小钱，请他去和那女孩说：“那个坐吧台的男的在床上很厉害的哦！”叫做【媒体购买】；

如果是你自己走过去和她说：“我不但在床上很厉害，而且还会给你‘特殊服务’的哦！”这叫【产品促销】；

如果那女孩主动过来跟你说：“我听说你在床上很厉害哦！”这叫【品牌魅力】；

如果有另一个女孩走过去和那个靓女说：“他在床上很厉害哦！”这叫【口碑营销】；

如果有一个女孩一直缠着你不放，人家问她为什么，她说“因为他在床上很厉害！”这叫【品牌忠诚度】；

如果你趁着众人惊讶的时候，悄悄把名片塞到在场吧女的胸围里，这叫【黑链】；

如果你抢到酒吧话筒并大声喊到，“我在床上很厉害哦”，这叫【群发广告】；

如果你不断的给酒保更多的钱，让他告诉那些女的，“这人在床上很厉害的哦”，这叫【竞价排名】；

如果在酒吧的菜单上都印上名字，然后在后面写道“我在床上很厉害的哦” ，这叫【博客营销】；

如果你朝靓女走过去，然后跟她沟通一些敏感话题，如果你发现话题投机，就跟她说“我在床上很厉害的哦！”，这叫【精准营销】。

文章来源不明，英文原版的有一个是这样的：

What is Marketing
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! Me?" - That's Brand Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets"